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How to support a friend whose parent died

Losing a parent is one of the most devastating experiences a person can go through. If someone you know has recently lost a parent, it's natural to want to offer comfort and support. However, it can be challenging to know what to say or do to help. In this post, we will explore some ways you can be there for your friend during this difficult time with empathy and kindness.

Offer a listening ear:
One of the best ways to support your friend is to be there for them and listen. Let them talk about their feelings, share memories of their parent, and express their grief in their own way. Don't try to offer solutions or give advice; just be present and listen. Sometimes, all your friend needs is someone to talk to who understands and can empathize with their pain.

Provide practical support:
After losing a parent, your friend may be dealing with a lot of practical matters, such as funeral arrangements, legal issues, and financial concerns. You can offer to help with some of these tasks, such as making phone calls, arranging meals, or running errands. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference and help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety your friend may be feeling.

Respect their grieving process:
Everyone grieves differently, and there is no "right" way to do it. Your friend may need time and space to process their emotions, and that's okay. Don't pressure them to "move on" or "get over it" before they're ready. Be patient, understanding, and respectful of their grieving process.

Check in on them regularly:
Grief is not a linear process and can be unpredictable. Your friend may be feeling okay one day and completely overwhelmed the next. Check in on them regularly, ask how they're doing, and offer your support. Let them know that you're there for them and that they can reach out to you whenever they need to.

Offer practical help:
After losing a parent, your friend may be dealing with a lot of practical matters, such as funeral arrangements, legal issues, and financial concerns. You can offer to help with some of these tasks, such as making phone calls, arranging meals, or running errands. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference and help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety your friend may be feeling.

Remember their parent:
Your friend's parent may be gone, but they will never be forgotten. You can honor their memory by remembering them and sharing stories or memories with your friend. You can also make a donation in their parent's name, plant a tree or a garden in their honor, or create a photo album or scrapbook. These gestures can help your friend feel like their parent's memory lives on.

Don't be afraid to offer professional help:
Grief can be overwhelming and can sometimes require professional help. If your friend is struggling to cope with their loss, don't be afraid to suggest that they seek professional help. You can offer to help them find a therapist or counselor or accompany them to their appointments. It's essential to recognize when your friend may need more support than you can provide.

Be patient:
Grief takes time, and everyone heals at their own pace. Your friend may be dealing with a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to guilt, and it may take them some time to come to terms with their loss. Be patient with them, and don't expect them to "get over it" quickly. Continue to offer your support and be there for them as they navigate this difficult time.

Losing a parent is an experience that can shake a person's world and leave them feeling lost and alone. As a friend, it's important to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting someone who has lost a parent. The most crucial thing you can do is to offer your love, support, and empathy in a way that is meaningful and appropriate for your friend.

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Breena Fain
Breena Fain

Breena is a writer, certified death doula, and co-founder at Addio based in San Francisco. She leads Addio's content efforts and helps families navigate their end-of-life plan. In her free time, you can find her at the piano, on the beach with her dog, eating her weight in sourdough bread, and volunteering at a local SF hospice facility. (She's also who runs all our social media accounts so be sure to say hello!)

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Should you create an online will or use an attorney?

If you're weighing the pros and cons of doing it online versus going through an attorney, let us break it down.

Take the quiz